{March 22, 2011}   Back

Spring break ended recently, part of the reason why this blog has remained empty for such a long time. I spend break at my girlfriend’s house and I had a pretty good time. I’m glad that her parents like me, and that they are so supportive of her. I can’t say as much for mine, unfortunately. They like to pretend that the subject doesn’t even exist. Her parents are very kind and accepting of her, and of me.

Back at school, we have a party for our dowm this friday that House Council is working on. As part of house council, I’m working hard on the party planning as well. It’s Alice in Wonderland theme; that’s all the details you’re getting. I think it’s going to be really epic if we pull everything off. I hope we do.

Also, I saw people I just don’t much care for anymore.

The friend that’s made choices i would express as bad ones? I’ve fallen so far into indifference that she has become merely aqcuaintance. I really didn’t want that to happen, and it’s worried me for so long… now, there’s really nothing that can be done and I doubt we will ever be friends again. And, although I still kind of hate to admit it, I really don’t care much anymore. She can do what she wants with her life; I’m not going to give her a friend’s advice anymore, or watch out for her like I used to or anything. To say that I will stop worrying about her would be a lie, but I just won’t worry as much as before. I’ll worry if she gets herself into some trouble, and I’ll be there if she needs me, but that’s it. I’ve stuck around too long for my help, my words, my support to just be pushed aside and ignored every step of the way. To be ignored is one thing, but to be trusted as a friend less than the girl that continuously did her wrong is another. I even have to force myself to smile at her sometimes. Maybe I’ll just not even wave or look up. Just be civil if the time calls for it. But, I just don’t feel anything for her and I no longer pine for that friendship. I have other friends who actually appreciate advice and whom I can truly trust and rely on.

As for the screwed up ex, every time I saw her I would swell up with so much hate and disgust and shame. Life’s really too short to hate for so long. I still don’t like her, and I am still disgusted by her, but I will try not to focus so much anger on her or to keep the hate at a low level. We shouldn’t hate anyone anyways; it’s a strong word and strong emotion. It’s not fun to hate. It just leaves you feeling like crap. I still won’t give her the time of day, but I will try to lower that hate into indifference or at least into nothingness.

And, randome note, I have had the hiccups since 7:30 am. They stopped for a short time twice, but keep coming back. I need peanut butter.


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